ready to follow?

Do you ever wonder why you are where you are? Why you are who you are? Why you live the life that you are living? I often wonder how I got where I am, not that I am unhappy about where I am. I love my wife, I love my kids, I love my profession, but still I can't help but wonder about the steps that I have taken down the path that has lead me to this point. What if things would have been different? Where would I be if I would have made better choices? Why didn't God choose to develop one of my other gifts into a profession? As we live out our existence in a fallen world, I really think these questions are natural because all of us stray off the path at one point or another.

In the midst of all this I was reminded of the account of Jesus reinstating Peter after Peter's denial. Do you remember the situation? Jesus had risen from the dead after three days of being in the grave and he shows up on the beach while his disciples were out fishing. After Jesus cooks them all a hearty breakfast, he pulls Peter aside and three times he asks him if he loves him. After the third time of Peter saying yes, and Jesus telling him to feed his sheep, Peter looks at John standing a little ways away and says, "Well, what about him?" I love Jesus' answer here! Jesus says, "What about him? If I want to keep him alive until I come back, I will." And then he said, "You follow me." The thing I love about this is that no matter where we find ourselves, God is calling us to serve Him where we are. You don't have to know where tomorrow will lead you, or how you got to today; the only thing you need to know is that no matter what God calls you to do, you are ready and willing to do it.

"Is this a bacon bit?"

I got to thinking the other day, why is it that we are so quick to try things that we so obvioulsy should not try? Jacson has developed this nasty habbit of wiping his hands on the underneath side of the table whenever he is eating, and no matter how many times we get onto him for this, or no matter how many times we clean his little wiping area he always manages to sneak little bits of food under there. Tuesday evening, after we had finished eating supper, Alaina came walking into the living room with somthing stuck to her finger and she asked, "Is this a bacon bit?" Before I could really give her a good enough answer she decided to find her own answer by putting whatever it was into her mouth. Immediatley when this, whatever it was hit her tongue, it was clear by her facial expression that what she was tasting was definitly not a bacon bit. Of course, I couldn't help but laugh at her expression but then I laughed even harder when she told Albertein what happened. She told Albertein, "I thought that was a bacon bit, I got it from under there (pointing to the underneath side of the table), I put it in my mouth, but it was not a bacon bit!" Now of coarse we would look at that and say, who would put somthing in their mouth that they found on the underneath side of the table, hopin that it was a bacon bit? But then again, I am amazed at how often we do things that are blatantly not a good idea!

As I was thinking about this, I couldn't help but think about the story of Samson in the book of Judges. Now Sampson is one of my favorite storys from the Bible because he was like a real life super hero; I mean this guy was supernaturally gifted with strength beyond any other human being that I am aware of. He killed a lion with his bare hands, he killed hundreds of Philistines with the jaw bone of a donkey, he ripped the gates off of one of their cities and dropped them off at the top of a near by hill; this guy was amazing. He was given this amazing strength to set his people free, and yet he blatantly did everything he was not supposed to do.

You and I may not have the strength of Sampson, but God has set each of us up in such a way as to be used by him in an incredible way, and yet how often do we give up that glorious calling on our lives for nonsense? In a very real way, God has given us life, freedom, joy, and everything else, and yet we want to see what's under the table! It just doesn't make sense.

grasping for understanding

I feel as though there are so many things that are just simply beyond my capability to comprehend! All last week I focused on Psalm 73 where the writer, Asaph was having a real crisis in keeping his faith. He writes about how he was becoming sidetracked with all the things in life that just didn't make any sense and in vs. 16 he says "When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me." I am amazed at how often I feel like this! Not that my faith is failing, or that my feet are slipping; just that when I try and understand what is going on, it is "oppressive to me."

Last night Albertein was struggling with the pain of RA in some of her joints, which made her very nervous because today is a big day for her. Because of this she asked if I would pray for her so that God would take away her pain and that she could focus on what she needed to do; and so I began to pray. I prayed last night that God would simply touch her and take this thing away, I mean He is the one who put her joints together, He could simply take the RA away from her. Again this morning, all morning I have been asking God to do the same, in the name of Jesus I have been asking for healing, yet when I woke Albertein up this morning my hopes were dashed as her wrist was swollen and throbbing with pain.

It is not a question to me whether or not God can heal, the real questions begin when He chooses not to. Even though Jesus tells us that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we will see mountains thrown into the sea, I know that at times whether or not we experience God's healing does not have to do with how much faith we may or may not have. Paul asked God three times to take away the "thorn in his flesh", and three times he was denied. The reason was not that Paul had a lack of faith but that being healed simply didn't fit in God's bigger plan. This bigger plan is after all what we sign up for isn't it? It's just like when Jesus told Peter not to worry about what the other disciples would do, but simply that he should follow Him regardless. I read in My Utmost for His Highest yesterday that we need to see Jesus for who He truly is, and not for what he Has or Has Not done for us. It is only when we do this, can we truly follow Him no matter what situation we may find ourselves in. So that's what I'm going to try and do today, whether the healing comes or not.